humility

Friends! It has been way too long since my last post, college is pretty nuts as far as spare time goes-plus I'm the type that basically becomes a slug when I have any moment of free time (not good for keeping up with things like this). Anywho, God has been teaching me some major stuff recently and I thought I'd share it with all of you.

So, God has a way of making his points QUITE clear when He wants to...I'm currently reading battling unbelief by John Piper and just started the chapter called "battling pride". He starts the chapter by quoting C.S. Lewis: 

The pleasure of pride is like the pleasure of scratching.

If there is an itch one does want to scratch;

but it is much nicer to have neither the itch nor the scratch.

As long as we have the itch of self-regard

we shall want the pleasure of self-approval;

but the happiest moments are those when we forget our 

precious selves and have neither but have everything else

(God, our fellow humans, animals, 

the garden and the sky) instead.

My thoughts exactly, but put more eloquently (just a little more, I'm sure...)

I mean, really, who wants to admit that they have problems with being prideful? In any area? Who are we to boast in anything other than our undeserved salvation? Did you catch that? I said undeserved, as in we have nothing to do with it, therefore no reason to be prideful in the sole good thing about ourselves (apparently our hearts do not always entirely get this). And pride isn't even necessarily thinking we are better, just thinking with regard to ourselves. As in, thinking about ourselves at all-the good, the bad or the ugly. Any focus we have should be on the one who deserves it because what good can really come from studying ourselves and our sin? Just an increased amount of pride and therefore dissatisfaction because we always fail ourselves. In school, relationships, achievements- you name it, we've probably failed at it at least once. 

Piper defines unbelief as "a species of unbelief...a turning away from God and his Son in order to seek satisfaction in other things...specifically to take satisfaction in self."

Then I read 1 Peter 5:4 "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." I then shuffled back a book to James and read ch 4 vs 5, which also quotes the same exact scripture, word for word. I kind of chuckled to myself about how funny God is, really pushing this issue. Again, went back a couple books (I suppose I might read like a weirdo) to Philippians 2, titled Imitating Christ's Humility. 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

In this passage, we're commanded to be like Christ as He made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant...humbled himself and became obedient to death... Then God exalted him to the highest place.

Piper reasons that the antidote is, "...the wakening and strengthening of faith in future grace."

At first, I didn't understand at all what God was trying to teach me through these verses and this book. I mean, obviously this all has to do with my prideful heart, but honestly, most of the time I don't feel prideful. In fact, lately I've been struggling with feeling good enough even knowing I am made righteous through Christ. Then Piper addressed this in the section, "The Camouflaged Pride of Anxiety".

Now this is something I can relate to. These past couple of weeks, with four tests in four days, the nursing honors applications coming out and some problems re-surfacing from my past I have been anxious about something different almost every day.

Piper explains this might look like humility, admitting we can't do something, it's actually sinful. He brings up Isaiah 51: "I-the Lord, your Maker-I am He who comforts you, who promises to take care of you; and those who threaten you are mere men who die. So your fear must mean that you do not trust me. You must think that your protection hangs on you. And even though you are not sure that your own resources will take care of you, yet you opt for fragile self-reliance, rather than faith in future grace. So all your trembling-weak as it is-reveals pride." He then mentions 1 Peter 5:6-7 (which I just read) saying one way to be humble is to cast all our anxieties on him and humble ourselves. 

Faith casts anxieties on God. Pride won't. Therefore, the way to battle the unbelief of pride is to admit freely that you have anxieties, and to cherish the promise of future grace in the words, "He cares for you."

The problem is our focus. If it's on ourselves, we're going to see our faults, our shortcomings, where we don't measure up and how we can't. This is beyond discouraging. But take heart my incredible friends, because the greatest news we've ever gotten is that we are not in charge here. When we look to Him-the Creator of the universe, the beginning and the end, the Great I Am-it's impossible to be discouraged! When we know that we're in His hands, forever and ever and He'll never let go of us, even when we doubt Him and become anxious and distracted, there is so much hope. And perfect hope like this makes our anxieties, no matter how big or small, look insignificant. This is the part where the joy just wells up inside me, brings me to grateful tears and I can't keep from smiling and praising His name because we are SO undeserving, and yet, He has decided to love and cherish us as His children. 

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!-Matthew 7:11